So Many Layers

August 9, 2011

This is the view from Malachi's "yard", the hut where he plays with his friends to escape the hot African sun. How fun is that? I wish I had one of these in my backyard; the view isn't so bad either. :)

Before we began the adoption process we assumed it would be hard with the very real possibility that it would be longer than anticipated. This winter will be two years since Justin and I heard the call. The clear and obvious call to adopt, and began taking our first steps toward the end goal of bringing home a beautiful baby boy. We did our best to prepare emotionally and spiritually for the long wait if it came to pass -- let downs, rough patches, and the unpredictability that we had heard so much about and been warned about from the beginning. I think deep down in your heart you are aware that these 'truths' of the adoption process shared by others could in fact happen but you assume your situation would never come to that, and thru the power of God sometimes it can be easy sailing. Sometimes not. With that said Justin and I have experience a longer wait than anticipated. One step forward. Half step back. Repeat. Time drags on and days turn into weeks that often turn into months. Never knowing the future or outcome of our adoption (you hear so many sad stories about the hardships of other families) still one thing for Justin and I has never changed... The God we serve! Our hope and salvation in times of need and uncertainty. What He calls us to do He is faithful to complete in His time and in His unique and special way.

As you may know we had planned on going to Uganda this summer to visit with Malachi. We were believing and hoping for a court date so we didn't have to come home again without him. God had a different plan and he started to reveal it a week before we had planned on leaving, so through prayer and by His guiding hand we made the choice to wait... I feel like that word has a totally different meaning in our family now... Wait to us means God's perfect timing! With the adoption process you want every step and every decision to be in accordance with God's perfect timing. He is the only one who understands fully the complexity of our situation and sees it beginning to end.  How can we doubt a God who has our best interest at heart even more than we have our own? Wait to us is God's hand moving beyond what we can see or understand. God is weaving our lives together with this little man half way across the world and it takes time, not for God but for us... Every hardship is meant to mold us, transform us - he must cut our hearts open to repair us, to make us more like Him and less like the sinful ungrateful selfish people we are. Every cut is precise and he wont stop until we are fully anew. Two years ago this winter we took that leap of faith and one year ago this winter we held our son for the first time. Our hope is that this winter he will be wrapped up in our arms, filled with love and hope for a better future and at home with his forever family!

We must give thanks whether our arms are full or empty. God created us to give thanks always and glorify him in everything! That one word - everything - is what he has been drilling into our hearts over this past year. We have had so many ups and downs with the adoption and in our personal life. The devil has been fighting us hard but our God and our faith in Him is bigger! What the devil means to harm us God can use to make us stronger, its our choice. We choose God. Were we called? Called to adopt to give Malachi a better life? Or were we called to adopt so God could transform us into more beautiful creatures... I think a little of both but more the latter... We could have never grown as we have without this process. It has been a monumental time in both our Christian lives.

Okay now more good news!! We have a court date on October 18, 9 weeks until we leave for Uganda to finish our process. God willing we won't hit any more hurdles.  I wont lie there have been days where I felt like this would never happen. Times when I thought we may never be able to bring him home for good. Now that it is almost here it doesn't seem real. I guess i'm still in shock! HA! We are planning on flying out October 9th or 10th and if everything goes smooth it should take about 3-4 weeks to wrap everything up and jump on a plane home. Just in time for Thanksgiving and what an amazing Thanksgiving it will be, a family of 3. :) I'm sure I will be an emotional basket case for the first few weeks (due to excessive happiness) and I may just want to hold him, kiss him, squeeze him, watch him sleep, not let him out of my sight for awhile until it really sinks in that he is ours forever!!! So you have been warned. I may just be teary eyed for a few weeks upon return but know it is due to the overwhelming joy and love I have in my heart that God chose us to be this little guys parents. I cant wait to watch him grow and change, laugh with him in the good times, hold him in the hard times and teach him all about our Savior and the life he has planned for him long before he was born. It's going to be an amazing journey of good times and hard times but I will give thanksgiving  through it all because it is our journey and a gift from God to be lived to the fullest!

We still need LOTS of prayer!!!!! We are so close and if this last leg is going to be anything like our process thus far we might have to fight just a little bit longer. Pray for our faith and strength in God not to waver no matter what the devil throws at us. Pray for our judge to have love in his/her heart for us and Malachi our day in court. Pray for traveling safety  to Uganda and while we are in country. Pray that Malachi continues to stay healthy and that he transitions well. God tells us to pray specific prayers, so pray that we can even get a ruling the day of our court date and don't have to wait for a week or two or three. The faster we get our ruling the faster we get to come home.

PS: Just another God moment in this process to share and I hope it makes you smile ear to ear as it did us! July 5, 2008 Justin and I got engaged in upstate NY on my yearly summer trip that I have gone on since we moved to NC when I was 10. This is the most special place on earth to me, it's where i grew up as a little girl and I have so many fond memories. He couldn't have picked a more special and significant place to propose. :)  Guess what? July 5, 2011 in upstate NY on our yearly summer trip my phone rings and it's our case worker with good news of a court date... You tell me that God doesn't care about the details. :) Same day, 3 years apart, two monumental occurrences in my life happen at the most special place on earth to me. That was a big hug from God and a nudge to keep going, to remind us we are on the right path!!! We are so close now. Keep praying and believing with us that we will have a little boy in our arms this coming Thanksgiving to welcome home forever! Thank you for coming alongside us in this journey for Malachi.  We cant wait for you to meet him, watch him grow and see what amazing plans God has for his life. - Julie